Friday, March 20, 2015

It's been a while...

Well the title says it all  It's been a while. I did not mean to completely neglect my blog, on the contrary I was really hoping to get back to my daily blogging. But then life happened. I've been through more in this past year than some people have in a decade. You never really think about a blog as a person. It's really more than anything looked at as a go to for a quick read, inspiration, a pass time. But in reality there is and of course has to be a person behind it all, and being that it is a person it can't and won't always necessarily be perfect. When I first started my blog I promised my reader's i'd be honest and open. Because after all my entire reason for creating a blog in the very first place was to give girls something more than just material things, more than just the daily OOTD. A blog with substance. A place that you'd be able to escape to when you needed something or someone to connect to. My blog has never been about flashy fashion trends and "The must have- break your bank-go in to debt just to make you feel better about yourself and look just like everyone else" piece of clothing. No my intentions were to show you that you are fine just the way you are. So embrace it, love it, and be content with it. Because I just like the rest of you am 'Just A Girl'.
Now let me give you all the short of the extremely long year I have had. For starters I am no longer with the father of my child.  He and I were simply just not meant for each other. He lacked respect and I am much to full of self respect and love for myself and my child. I was not going to settle for the old fashion way of thinking that to be a mother with no husband should be looked at as something to be ashamed of. It's absolutely not and I  feel if more young women felt this way, then the world would be a placed filled with young girls and women who would know the real and true meaning of self worth. We are no ones object. We are people and with that being said we should be treated with respect and valued regardless of our sex.  Now i'd be lying yo you if I said I wasn't a bit heartbroken. Because I was. It hurt and it did for a while, but then one day you wake up and it doesn't hurt anymore. As easy as it came it goes just the same. Your heart is no longer aching and in fact it even starts to feel kind of nice, empowering. I felt stronger and so much more free. Like this heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. The day finally came when I realized life is to short to simply just sit there and wither away. Now after this life changing view on the world  and my place in it I had  the sudden realization that negatives can actually be turned into positives. I went absolutely mad with freedom and the power to make choices and not think twice about any one of them.One of the first was when I spontaneously took a huge pair of scissors and took about a minute to think it over, and then asked my best friend to chop and I mean "Mommy Dearest" butcher My long hair. Now as scary as that sounds I have to say it was like a five minute therapy session in my bathroom that did wonders. After that I took every chance I had to get away when I was given the opportunities. I guess I just needed sometime to breathe. Now of course during this time I took a ton of photos along the way. I'll be sure to gradually share those on my blog. Oh and before I forget to mention I now also have a Boyfriend. He makes me happy as well as my Elliot happy and not that generic kind of happy but that real kind of happy. The kind that makes you forget about everything around you because you are far to preoccupied with what's in front of you and what's happening in the moment.  Yeah that kind. Now  let me end this post with a quote that I think sums up the exact place I am at in these moments of my life.

"Life is too short to spend in negativity. So I have made a conscious effort to not be where I don't want to be"
-Hugh Dillon


Elliot On a rock in The Kern River September, 2014

Pit Stop Photo of Elliot and I on our camping trip September, 2014.

      This kid is such a grouch in the mornings.

Elliot dipping his toes in The Kern River. 
September, 2014.

          Armando and I.
Armando and I in Las Vegas July, 2014.
Our initials in the sand.

Armando and I at FYF Fest In Los Angeles August, 2014.

A photo I took of a neon sign in The Santa Monica Pier Arcade.

A photo of myself in the reflection of  the old photo booth.
Santa Monica, CA

A blurry photo of Elliot and I on my porch.

A bouquet of paper flowers for my personal arts & crafts time.
Late night sushi run with Armando.

A photo I took of my little sister River Jade in the park.

A photo I took of my friend Arlene this past summer. 
Bell Gardens, CA

A photo I took of  my younger brother this past summer 2014.

A photo I took of River in the park.

River Age 11, 2014

Arlene chopping tomatoes in her kitchen.
 Summer 2014.

A shot I took of the sheer curtains in Arlene's House. 

A photo of my clothing rack.

A Photo I took of My Elliot on July 4th, 2014.

A photo of  River at The Los Angeles Public Library Summer 2014.
I Title this one,
"Little Girl, Big World"

A Photo of my reflection taken in my bathroom.
 July 4th, 2014.

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